Bluetooth Bane

So my new Pebble 2 and Android smartphone (a G4 Moto Play) refused to talk to each other this morning. I wasted about an hour trying to pair, un-pair, and re-pair their Bluetooth relationship, but absolutely nothing worked. To add to the aggravation, every website that claims to have an answer to this seems to be blocked for some reason.

So the solution eventually came when I reset the Pebble to factory settings and completely uninstalled and reinstalled the Pebble app. Then it worked again, thank goodness, but seriously — how long has Bluetooth had this ridiculous issue? I remember a decade ago struggling to get a wireless mouse to work and then afterward simply using a corded one instead.

P.S. This happened a few more times, and each time the solution was something along the lines of un-pairing the phone and Pebble and repairing again, usually by "forgetting" the Pebble in my Android Bluetooth settings. A pain? Yes, but it usually worked (and isn't nearly as horrible as the FitBit Versa).

Unfortunately, process.my.sanity has stopped

So, I just bought a new (refurbished) Nexus 10 for the wife off of Groupon. And of course, it's completely unusable. After logging into Google and starting it up, it starts getting an endless stream of errors, always "unfortunately, google play services has stopped" or something. I went to Google to find an answer, and of course there are thousands of posts all over the place all with the exact same problem.

So what's the solution? There isn't one. Oh, there are lots of alleged solutions, but not a single one that works. If you hate yourself and want to feel the white hot pain or trying to make the piece of garbage you bought online work, you can try any one of the following:

1. Delete the cache
2. Reset app preferences
3. Uninstall the Google Play Store
4. Wipe the System Cache Partition
5. Reset to factory settings

When none of those ideas work, you can muck around with the firmware, installing a custom ROM or any number of things that will void your warranty. Don't worry, it's EASY!

Or your could just send it back and hope the next one will work. Which it won't.

Getting a PayPal API Username and Signature: an exercise in futility.

Every now and again and I need a reminder of how much I hate myself. That's when I decided to do something that should be brain-dead simple on WordPress using the pre-installed, already-configured WP eCommerce plug-ins — connecting to our business PayPal account for online payments.

Super easy, right? All I have to do is enter a few simple, little PayPal things into the settings boxes. Like these:

Why, an API Username, Password, Signature, and Merchant ID. I should be able just to click right over to my PayPal account and find those right under "My Selling Tools" on my PayPal profile, which is EXACTLY where PayPal's helpful help files says it should be. RIGHT?

WRONG! They're not there. They're not ANYWHERE.

So… what's the solution? Is there some magical account setting or special status that lets me have access to an API? After an hour of Googling, I can't find an answer. The WP eCommerce site says I just have to have a PayPal Express Checkout account, or a a Verified PayPal Business Account, or maybe I need to upgrade your account to a Business account. It doesn't matter, because no matter what I click, I just get bounced back to this page, which only lets me log back into my own account with no modifications no matter what I choose.

Of course, PayPal is also ridiculously impossible to get hold of, and I have to fight with their phone tree for hours just to get hung up on.

The Answer

Eventually I discovered one of the five different PayPal modules, "PayPal Payments Standard 2.0," did NOT require any API settings in order to work, so I wound up using that instead.

Sorry, Dave. I can't open that.

So, I burned a PowerPoint presentation to a DVD-R disc. It's the master disc of a large system of presentation files, and everything fit neatly and runs perfectly on my hard drive. Once burned to the DVD-R, however, I only get this lovely message.

That's right. It simply "can't read" the file. It even apologized. However, by "can't read," it doesn't mean the file isn't readible. No, if I open PowerPoint itself and do a file/open, the file opens JUST FINE. It simply refuses to open it from the desktop.

Why? Simple. "Show help" reveals:

The presentation cannot be opened. Your antivirus program may prevent you from opening the presentation. To fix this problem, make sure your antivirus program is current and working correctly. If the problem persists and the presentation is from someone that you trust, turn off your antivirus program, and then try to open the presentation again. If you do this, make sure you turn on your antivirus program again after you open the presentation.

So there you have it. It's my anti-virus programs fault! Why? How do I disable it? Do I even HAVE an anti-virus program running? No, I DO NOT. One lovely fellow has this as a solution, however:

"Just to let you all know, I reinstalled Windows from CD and I am now able to open PowerPoint files without any problems. Thanks for all your help."

That's right. The solution to one file randomly not wanting to open is to REINSTALL YOUR ENTIRE OPERATING SYSTEM. Yes, seriously.

OK, I'm done yak-shaving for the day.

Skype stuck while signing in on Android

Yeah, the title pretty much says it all. I tried logging into Skype, which has been sitting dormant on my phone for pretty much a year or two, and somehow it just sits and spins on that stupid "signing in" screen. After watching the dots circle around for half an hour, I give up and try again. And again. Then I reboot the phone and try again. And then I reinstall Skype and try again. Nothing I do will make it sign it.

Then I reluctantly go to Google, where other people have had this exact problem with absolutely no solution from anyone. I won't link to any of these sites, but if you Google "Skype stuck on signing in Android," you'll find plenty of them, all with two-year old posts on how "This is happening to me, too! Has anyone found a solution?!" Nope. No solution.

Oh wait I got it to work now.

Want to know how? OK, I don't know exactly why, but my phone started working again after I did a couple things. Not sure if these will work for you, but give it a try.

1. I sign up for a new damn account. Don't panic, I was still able to log back into my old one, but out of sheer frustration, I created a new Skype account with my Skype app. Guess what? It logged in fine and started bugging me to verify my phone number and add contacts. That was all I needed to make sure the app could actually get past the sign in screen.
2. I signed out of this new account, and then signed in on the web to my account and found I had some "inactive credits" for some reason. I reactivated them.

After doing these two things, I logged back into my old account, and it seemed to work fine. Not sure if that was just a coincidence, but maybe it'll work for you.

There, Internet, was that so freaking hard?

And this, my friends, is why I use an ad blocker most of the time. If you can't see, the GREEN button on the right is the button I have to click to download this software. The BLUE button on the LEFT is an AD for completely unrelated software.

WordPress missed schedules

I have a couple blogs that use WordPress. I used to use Blogger, but WordPress offered certain features that Blogger simply didn't have (which I won't get into right now). It seemed to work great for a while, but at some point WordPress decided to start ignoring my scheduled posts. When it would come time for one post or another it go live, it would shrug, label it "missed schedule" and go back to sleep. This seemed like the kind of problem that should be easy to solve with a bug fix from some developer, except nobody in the WordPress community has been able to fix it. Instead, the only solution they have is to disable the WordPress cron and set up your own command via cron to get it to work.

Which is great if it would work. But it doesn't. Well, at least not all the time. It worked once on one of my sites, but not on another. Anyway, if this happens to you, just remember one thing: SCHEDULED POSTS WILL NEVER WORK RELIABLY. No, not ever. They won't. Please don't try to find another solution. There is none. Especially not a plug-in that claims to fix the problem. It actually required another plug-in that will very easily break WordPress and every other site on tour server. It just happened to me, and I had to figure out how to disable the plug-ins via FTP to get everything back online.

So for now the solution is to post stuff manually. With no scheduling. Sorry. There is no solution.